I don't have much time to write again, but I do have to say that my prayer in my last post was immediately answered. The morning that I finished it, everyone then miraculously slept for a few more hours and I worked on the computer. Since then, I haven't felt frustrated but have pretty much had the time to do what I have needed to do, although I have a lot of financial recording stuff to do still but don't really have any other big things that will keep me from getting it done I don't think. So MESI BONDYE for answering that! Please give me wisdom to know when to work on the computer, when to stop myself and sleep so I don't burn out, what tasks I should do in what order, etc.
Another thing, the law school thing... well I spoke with an admissions person at Concord Law School (online) awhile back when I first got interested in the idea. If I don't talk to her for awhile then she calls me and checks up on me and is really encouraging me to move along and apply, sending me links about financial aid, etc. If she wasn't, then I probably would've left that alone at least for now. But she called me the other day and checked in. She said she was sending me the admissions test and for me to try to get it done by Sunday. I was only able to do one of the parts but after I did, she called me and said I scored a 97.something %! It seemed pretty easy to me.. was about contract law, the conditions that enter into a contract and serve as a contract and many things along that line. I had already thought about a lot of it because I have made lots of verbal and written contracts here with landlords and employees and had lots of disagreements, negotiations, etc. She said if you do exceptionally well on the admissions test then they send you a request to apply for certain scholarships. So I'm hoping and praying I do well on the rest. But I don't plan on actually starting law school until I have all of the computer tasks done that I need to get done and have some sort of financial solution to secure paying for it. But I have been moving ahead with the admissions, just not spending any money yet. :) I think I need to write to the UN also to introduce myself and see if they would perhaps have a paid position for me somehow either now or with a law degree, etc.
Now my prayer request to God is MONEY!!! I love God and not money. I trust God with money and he always provides. He gives us our daily bread. So I'm sure he will again this time. But this month... well today I should hopefully receive a transfer that has the funds for a volunteer group coming the first week of March. I need to pay the landlady of the hostel two months rent, I need to buy mattresses and sheets for them because with our new additions here, we have brought all of the mattresses from the hostel to our facilities here.. and they weren't really in the best condition anyway. I need to have the money for transportation for them and food for them and a cook. Then there are some other odds and ends - drinking water, truck loads of water to fill up in the tinaco so they can bathe, etc. because city water only fills it up once a week and it's not enough... anyway, I need all of this money for their trip and their stay. But I have teachers coming at me in every direction who need their pay. I have two landlords coming after me. And quite honestly Elisenia gave both Ilayas and Maraya conjunctivis and Ilayas' eye is so swollen.. and I haven't had the 500 pesos to get the antibiotic drops for them. So personally and for Project Esperanza, we need money. Because..when you have a certain amount of responsibilities and the pool of funds to cover them isn't enough, every month it's tough to manage. Teachers tell me, "I can't do anything with this part of a payment. I have to do x,y,z and if you just give me part, I can't do anything with it." I say, "I know, I have to manage x,y,z with a part of what is needed as well. That's why I am obligated to transfer that on to you." They say things like, "Can you explain to people in Project Esperanza that we have x,y,z needs...." It's a frustrating thing that has continued and it's frustrating having the same conversations over and over again.
And I am sick of feeling pathetic and having to ask people. I don't actually feel pathetic but there are certain people who like to make you feel pathetic. I don't feel... unorganized or... whatever someone may think of someone who has kids in a developing country without health insurance or even any savings or assets or the ability to have any savings (because I have too many responsibilities - they would have to be tended to before I could "save"). I don't feel.. I guess people would think that I failed to plan and am irresponsible or something? I failed to plan based on money and a service to money, I planned based on God and a service to God. (With that being said I don't "plan" on having kids for a good chunk of time, but can't help but to do my best to care for already born children who are suffering in my presence like Ebo and Elisenia.) I am unable to restrain myself...to kill a part of myself.. and plan a life based on money. I am not saying this just based on having kids but in all of life's choices. Lord, please come through. I know you will but I need to see it.
Elisenia is whining and I think I need to hold her. Ilayas woke up maybe an hour and a half ago. Well, I woke up and found him sitting up. He was talking to himself, not audibly, but waving his hand around and moving his hand like he was talking. I wonder what he was imagining. He cracks me up and breaks my heart with his swollen eye. The worst part about the kids ever having any physical imperfection like that is that the neighbors jump all over it. We can't go outside for anyone to see us, but with Ilayas and his love to play outside, it's very hard. Last night I don't know how many people gasped at me when they saw Ilayas' swollen eye, as though I am failing them to properly care for him and asked me what he had, only then to tell me what they think he has and how to care for it. It's hard for me to reply patiently all of the time but I have gotten the hang of it. Do any of them think that they could care for Ilayas better than me? Well, they seem to think they could but sometimes I want to tell people to mind their own business. Ilayas has many neighbor friends and they do love him and I guess this is them showing concern for him but there are many kids around in need and I don't see neighbors showing concern for them. But things always turn out lopsided like that. Before Elisenia arrived, when I asked a neighbor if she would be willing to help care for her some, she replied that she could care for Maraya... but Maraya is well cared for by her mother... why would you offer to care for her and not the one who needs help.
Anyway, I am concerned that Ilayas has conjunctivitis and care for his body in general but I care even more for his heart and his spirit (Proverbs 4:23). I would be lying if I said that having Elisenia here hasn't been an act of faith because of the sicknesses she carries and potentially carries. However, there wasn't really a choice. After so many had fought for her life, I couldn't really let her slide back. And while some adults don't treat her as a beautiful creature of God when they see her cleft food and hear her coughing (she can't seem to stop being congested and the rain is not helping), Ilayas always treats her as a beautiful creature. I've started telling him not to kiss her because she's sick but he treats her with 100% love and I hope that he does that for others in similar situations for the rest of his life.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
Maraya is now able to sit up for pretty much as long as she wants to. We really have to block her in on the bed or put her on a mattress on the floor because she loooves to roll. Ilayas is speaking sooo much Creole now from having Ebo here who only understood Creole but now is understanding a little English. He came about a month ago saying mama and kaka only, and now knows almost all of our names among some other words.. and I taught him to not say kaka as there are nicer words to use instead. I need to take more pictures and videos, but here is one of Ilayas,
one of Maraya,
and one from Project Esperanza past.
If you would like to financially support my family and I, the way I prefer you do that is to register as a customer here and apply for this VISA credit card. I am told that the founder of Campus Crusades for Christ raised support for himself through this same method so it has had proven success. If you're in Canada, you register here. If enough people do this, it will generate an income for us. You'll see there are many ways to support as a customer, but for the purpose of focus, I ask that people at least get the VISA card. This is also a great gift option I suggest you try out. Lastly, if you or someone you know is raising support for missions/humanitarian work, you can help yourself and help me by registering as an IBO here and requesting that your supporters become your customers. Please e-mail me with any questions about this. Thank you & God bless.